A Prime Example

Last night was a prime example of ‘me’ vs ‘us’ time.  I get home a little before 6 from work and the gym.  I cool down and shower.  My MinL and SinL are setting the table for dinner.  Stacy gets home around 6:30 and we all eat dinner.  I put away the dirty dishes and clean up while she plays with the baby.  Then my wife decides she wants to take a walk.  After all, its milkshake Monday at the local ice-cream place down the road.  So we pack up Nathan (my son) into his stroller and head out.  We get back in 30 minutes or so when its getting dark out.  She takes Nathan into the front living room with her Mom and Sister where they talk and are watching TV, and playing with Nathan who is getting tired and fussy a bit.

So I figure, nothing else going on that demands my immediate attention.  A good time to jump onto Call of Duty-Black Ops and play a quick game or 2.  Besides, my family is watching the final episode of Bachelor Pad, which I have ZERO interest in.  My computer is set up in the family room, which is on the opposite side of the house.  Stacy wants me to show her something on the computer but she’s occupied.  I figure when she is ready she will come and get me.

So I jump in team speak with my friends and jump in game. (I play with a fairly regular group of people who run their own clan server.  I’m not in the clan, but a regular)  And it’s a good day.  All games know what I mean.  Especially in FPS games, you have good days and bad days.  Last night was a very good day.  I was kicking ass and taking names.  The other team is cursing me in team speak for repeatedly killing them, capping HQ points and generally just being awesome.  I get through 2-3 games where I am just on fire.  And when your playing good, you want to keep playing, riding that wave.  Much like when your having a bad day, where you keep spawning in front of the enemy, take every grenade to the head and die repeatedly without actually ever killing anybody, all you want to do is log and go do something else for a while.

So anyway, I play for maybe an hour.  And here comes Stacy with the dirty look and the “are you going to play every night?” comments.  I tell her I was just waiting on her to be ready and quickly log off the game.  I show her what she needs to know on her laptop, but am then expected to sit with her and watch the last 45 minutes of Bachelor Pad with her in the family room.  Sitting their, bored out of my mind while she’s typing up stuff on her laptop, watching a show I have zero interest in.  My computer sits, 15 feet away, lonely.  But I know if I go to it, I will piss of Stacy.  Why?  Because this is ‘us’ time? 

Now don’t get me wrong.  I like ‘us’ time.  If there is a show we both want to watch (I only watch a few TV shows, that we watch together.  Castle, Combat Hospital).  Or a movie from Netflix that we watch. (Usually 2 a week?)  She has no desire to watch the shows I like on the Discovery Channel, NGEO or the Military channel.  And she pretty much rules the TV and what is watching.  The ‘Lifetime’ network, Hallmark network, ‘O’ network.  Made for tv movies.  I’ve seen so many of them now.  And we both enjoy a lot of the same interests outside of the house.  But a work night, where nothing is going on?

So is it wrong, if we are not doing anything but watching TV, generally a show I have no desire to watch to want to go and play a game for a bit?  I’m in the same room as my wife, so I’m available for questions, comments or honey-do’s.  Lately I’ll play while Nathan is on his pillow or swing right by me so I can watch him. 

So that’s my question.  Am I in the wrong?  Have the time I feel guilty for trying to sneak an hour of play time in here or their.  For me, its my decompress from work time.  My stress relief.  For her, vegging in front of the TV works the same.

And you know what is the last thing that happens before we goto bed?  Foot rub.  For her, a good 15-20 minutes per foot leaving her falling asleep on the bean bag.  See?  I pay for the right to be able to game some.

-out